NEGATIVE VIEWPOINT OF GOD

Welcome to Women of Valour which is about

YOU

experiencing your freedom in Christ, being set free,

experiencing the love of God, and opening your blinded eyes

Isaiah 61:1

In my last blog, I shared my current victorious viewpoint of God. Many of you did and can identify with what I said. Now, let me share where God, My Father, found me. What was my previous defeated viewpoint of God? Again, many of you will and can identify with what I share today. In my previous introduction, I stated "God is love and peace". I did not know what either of these were except in words only. They were NOT my viewpoint of God at all. These words were always meant for the “elite” Christians. I said the words but I did not REALLY believe them where I was concerned. As a Christian, my viewpoint of God was messed up to say the least. But trust me God, Our Father, wants to take away the poisonous (weed) thought processes each of us may have about HIM. He wants us to see HIM as the antidote (seed) for each and every poisonous thought we may have. 

You will read a "BUT GOD" after each section except the last one. Please refer back to “Positive Viewpoint of God” post. The previous post shows the miracles God did in each area of my life from a freedom view. This post shows my prison cell view. God wants to help us switch from a negative view to a positive view of HIM.

God was NOT Love. He could not really love me because of ALL my sins. I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that God did NOT loves me. How did I know this? When I thought of God I saw only the "Disciplinarian". I had been introduced to the God of Law instead of the God of Grace and Love. I believed I was going to hell for everything. At my lowest points, I felt like HIS Word was wounding and cutting me and HE was using Christians to wound and cut me even further. His love was conditional and HE had favorites that HE loved. I did not make the list. BUT GOD…

God was NOT My Forgiver. He had not forgiven me for ALL of my repeated sins. How did I know this? I knew He hated sin, therefore, HE hated me. God did not even hear my prayers much less answer them. I was the worst kind of Christian. I was a hypocritical and judgmental one. I was so burdened down with my sins it felt like I was carrying around another person on my back ALL the time. I believed this was how I was supposed to live as a Christian. BUT GOD…

God was NOT My Deliverer. He did NOT set me free. How did I know this? I was like the children of Israel who were wondering around the wilderness for many years without entering the Promised Land. I was walking around in circles trying to act like a “good Christian”. But there was no victory in my life. I just kept doing the same sins over and over again. I was sitting in prison cells in my on mind with no hope. I could not even spell freedom much less experience it. BUT GOD…

God was NOT My Peace. I lived in continual chaos. How did I know this? I was hearing many voices in my mind ALL the time. It sounded like a radio station with multiple channels: not worthy, ugly, suicidal, unlovable, inadequate, lonely, keep the secrets, etc. These voices were always speaking to me. My voice and the voice of the enemy were all I heard. I did not know to ask God to stop the voices because they were just a part of me. BUT GOD...

God was NOT My Father. HE did not provide for me. How did I know this? HE was father in name only. In my mind, God was a “dead beat Dad”. He was not taking care of me. I was taking care of myself. I earned the money and paid all of my bills. I had a “Me” mentality. The church leaders represented thieves to me because of my cult like church background. I was taking care of Andrea for the most part. I would give a prayer and a praise sometimes but it was due to the masks I was wearing. BUT GOD…  

God is NOT My Protector. HE did not protect me. How did I know this? When the man came into my room, where was God? When I felt lonely and needed the company of a man to make me feel like I was valuable, where was God? When I got pregnant and wanted an abortion because the child was not real to me, where was God? HE was off taking care of the “elite” Christians. I was not on the list. BUT GOD…

BUT GOD was My Healer because He had healed my body. How did I know this? Even in my warped state of mind, I could always say and believe: “By Your (Jesus) stripes I am healed.” (Isaiah 53:5) God would always heal me no matter what I had done. HE even healed my sick mind. He wants to heal yours too in the areas where you think negatively about HIM. I challenge you to let HIM.

Prayer: Holy Spirit, show me the negative points I have about God, My Father. I choose today to believe God is ALL of these and more to me. Lord, Heal my sick mind.

Question:

What is your negative viewpoint of God and 
How would you like HIM to change it?

I pray something you read touched your heart to walk closer to God. 

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